The GROW model: coach your team like Whitmore

Published 2026-07-02 · The research behind Project-simulator

A team member comes to you with a problem. Your gut reflex as a project manager is to solve it: after all, you know the answer, and it's the fastest route. But every time you do, you train the team to come to you instead of thinking for themselves, and you turn yourself into a bottleneck.

Sir John Whitmore, a former racing driver and one of the pioneers of modern coaching, described an alternative in his 1992 book Coaching for Performance: the coaching conversation, structured around the GROW model. The book became one of the most influential in leadership, and GROW is now a standard tool in management and leadership training worldwide.

What does the research say?

GROW stands for the four phases of the conversation: Goal; Reality, the current situation; Options; and Will, the way forward. The idea is that a developmental conversation moves through the phases in order. First: what do you want to achieve, both with the issue and with the conversation? Then: what does the situation actually look like, what have you already tried? Next: what paths forward exist, including the unrealistic ones? Finally: what do you choose to do, when, and how firm is the decision?

Whitmore's deeper point, however, is not the model but the mindset. He built on the idea, drawn from the world of sport and Timothy Gallwey's work on the inner game, that performance is as much about removing inner obstacles as about adding knowledge. The coach's job is to awaken awareness and responsibility in the other person, and the tool for that is questions, not advice. Someone who has formulated their own conclusion owns it in a way that someone who was handed it never will.

At the same time, Whitmore was clear that coaching does not replace direction everywhere. In an acute crisis, you give instructions. But in development conversations, problem-solving and delegation, the questioning stance produces more competent and more motivated people over time.

What does this mean for you as a project manager?

Ask a question before you give an answer. When someone brings you a problem, try what have you considered yourself, or what do you think happens if we do nothing? Often the person already has half the solution and just needs to think out loud. You save your time for the problems where you are genuinely needed.

Use GROW as a meeting structure. A check-in about a delayed activity can follow the model directly: what is the goal we are working towards, where do we honestly stand, what options do we have, and what do we decide now? The structure keeps the conversation from getting stuck in describing the current situation, which is otherwise the most common trap.

Be extra careful with the last step. Many conversations produce good ideas but no commitments. Close with what will you do as the next step, and when? A weak or evasive answer is valuable information: the decision has not really been made, and it is better to discover that in the room than at the next deadline.

How to practise this

Asking instead of answering sounds simple, but it goes against a strong habit, and habits change through practice, not insight. In Project-simulator you can practise coaching conversations against AI counterparts and get feedback on whether you actually asked questions or fell back into giving orders and advice. The simulator's own AI coach also works by Whitmore's principle: in the debrief, it prefers asking to telling. Try it free for a week.